CHEAT ON!

We, the fine fellows of Figuerora Tech, would like to introduce our new school motto. It is one that embodies all of the characteristics of our institution:

Ever since the Greeks played the dirtiest trick in human history on us, we feel it was our right and our duty to win by any means necessary.
I mean, honestly, who would have thought a giant wooden horse would be anything but a delightful gift?!

We would like to commemorate our new motto with a limited edition T-Shirt. On the front, our new glorious motto.
On the back, the number of a player who has, through all his trials and tribulations, been able to... CHEAT ON!

When we needed an extra yard against the Irish in the final seconds, he was able to CHEAT ON!
When the NCAA said parents must pay their own way to away games, he was able to CHEAT ON!
When he needed transportation around town, he didn't take the bus, he was able to CHEAT ON!
When he needed something snazzy to wear to an award show, he was able to CHEAT ON!
When his folks needed a million dollar place to stay, he was able to CHEAT ON!
When future recruits wanted to talk to him after he had left us, he was able to CHEAT ON!

Place your order now for this limited edition shirt for only $12.00 including FREE SHIPPING. It comes in our traditional ketchup and mustard colors. Or, if you really want to shove our motto in our cross town rivals' face, it comes in their colors as well.

SOLD OUT

Our hallowed halls are filled with countless others who have also been able to CHEAT ON!

Here are just a few we would like to honor:

Wal-Mart Heiress Elizabeth Paige Laurie: Paid someone $20,000 to do her coursework.

Mark McGwire: Set a home run record by CHEATING ON! and wouldn't tell Congress.

Brandon Ting: Also took steroids, but got caught CHEATING ON!

Frank Gifford: CHEATED ON! his wife many, many times.

Randy Johnson: Ridiculously got suspended just because he only nearly killed someone with an intentional bean ball.

Dwayne Jarrett: $650 is almost half of $3866.

Dominique Byrd: CHEATED ON! a video game causing Steve Smith to break his jaw. Had to be done.

CHEATING ON! not only works in academics and the field of competition, but it also works in every day life:

O.J. Simpson: Thankfully is not going to write a book about how he killed two people and was able to CHEAT ON!

Winston Justice: got caught trying to hire a hooker who was an undercover police and later got caught on weapons charges, but never served time. CHEAT ON!

Eric Wright, Hershel Dennis, Mark Sanchez, and Frostee Rucker were all accused of rape, but got off because we helped them CHEAT ON!

Keyshawn Johnson: Learned from O.J. and has been accused of hiring a hit man to kill his wife.

As spokesman for the university, Ray Maualuga, has said �We own the police�.

We would also like to announce the changing of our signal from the �V� to the �C�, because victory is meaningless unless you CHEAT ON!

If you would like to add pictures of you donning your commemorative t-shirt, or nominate any fellow cheaters to our Hall of Fame list, please email us at shirts@cheaton.net.

THANKS, AND CHEAT ON!